Sing, quietly.

Words by the Porter, to be sung to the tune of nothing in particular. Humming is permitted. Applause is not.

IVVerses

IChorus, repeated

0Tunes, required

Notes for singers

The hymn is in common metre and may be sung to any tune of that measure, though none is supplied and whistling one will be treated as showing off. Sing quietly, in the corridor, without sighing. The pigeons join in uninvited and in no key.

The Institute Hymn · Words by the Porter

Chorus

Nothing here is important,
Yet all is kept as though it were;
Queue without a sighing,
Dust is data, little stirring,
And the bench, it seats but three.

Verse the First: Things

We weighed each teaspoon twice,
We filed the ticket stub;
The key that opens not one lock
Sleeps warmly in its tub.

Verse the Second: Words

We said apricity aloud,
We whispered thing and stuff;
Moist was put unto the vote,
Fourteen to two: enough.

Verse the Third: Hours

We queued on Thursday morn,
We yielded up our seat;
We slept, and being counted, were
Accounted half complete.

Verse the Fourth: Weather

It rained, as was arranged,
Grade three, both mild and damp;
The gauge stood full, the Recorder bowed,
And lit the Thursday lamp.

Repeat the chorus. Then stop.