The Institute · The Tribunals
Two tribunals sit, both finally. What they hear, who sits, what they can do, and the applications they declined.
A tribunal is three parties in a room with a complaint between them: the Porter, one keeper drawn by lot, and the bench, which has the casting silence. It hears the claim, hears the defence, and rules the same day, in writing. Remedies are limited to what the house can actually do: transfers of custody, shared custody, reseating, extra dusting, and biscuits, plain. Damages are never awarded, as the Institute is independent and unfunded.
Tribunal I
Hears breaches of the Code: biscuits taken without offer, reply-alls, thermostats moved unconsulted. Proceedings are brief; the offender is invited to explain, which invitation is itself part of the penalty. Mitigation — “I didn’t know,” “I was in a hurry” — has been classified as aggravation since 1973.
Record. 6,412 breaches heard; excuses accepted, nil. Judgments.
Tribunal II
Hears claims by any department against any other, including the Institute itself. Ten conflicts heard to date, from the similar numerals to the gibberishing of thing. The bench has the casting silence and has used it twice, both times decisively and without explanation.
Record. Ten cases, all final. The register.
Further tribunals have been applied for and declined, with reasons. A Pigeon Election tribunal was sought to settle the 2019 result; declined, on the grounds that pigeons cannot give evidence and the returning officer does not exist. A Thermostat tribunal was sought by Mr K.; merged into Quiet Disapproval as a thermostat matter, where it was heard, noted, and seated by the draughty window.
No further applications are invited. The two sitting tribunals are sufficient to the Institute’s disagreements, which are themselves sufficient.