The International Institute · Department No. XIII ·
The International InstituteOrdinary & Remarkable Knowledge
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No. XIII Classification · VII drizzles · VI clouds

Department No. XIII · The Scale

Seven drizzles, six clouds.

Rain is not one thing. The department distinguishes seven grades of drizzle and registers six clouds. Declarations are made by consultation with the window.

VIIDrizzle grades
VIClouds registered
IWindow consulted
On this page
  1. The seven drizzles
  2. The six clouds

The seven grades of drizzle

Declared in ascending wetness. Grade VII exists on paper only.

Drizzle 01

Grade I · Mist Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Pavements darken; shoulders stay dry. Denied by optimists.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 02

Grade II · Mizzle Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

A mist with intentions. Hoods up in Penzance; London unaffected.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 03

Grade III · Drizzle, proper Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Umbrellas look indecisive. This grade is the department’s standard.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 04

Grade IV · Steady rain Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Conversation moves indoors. Ducks approve.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 05

Grade V · Stair-rods Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Bounces off pavements. Trousers surrender below the knee.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 06

Grade VI · Sideways Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Rain with a career in transport. Brollies invert; the hardy lean.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Drizzle 07

Grade VII · Biblical, but British Room 13 · Floor 1 scale.

Theoretically possible. The form exists; it has never been countersigned.

Record. Declared by the Recorder after consultation with the window.

Cloud 01

Cumulus Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

Heap-shaped, bright-topped. Promises outings it rarely keeps.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

Cloud 02

Stratus Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

A grey lid over the county. Removed, without notice, by April.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

Cloud 03

Nimbus Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

Any cloud currently raining. Promoted from Stratus on performance.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

Cloud 04

Cirrus Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

Mares’ tails at 8,000 metres. No bearing on picnics.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

Cloud 05

Cumulonimbus Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

Anvils, downpours, one thunderclap. Leaves before the interval.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

Cloud 06

Fog Room 13 · Floor 1 register.

Came down to look for something. Visibility 100 metres, then 50, then the bench.

Record. Observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.

A note on the register

Cloud entries follow the drizzles in the same register, observed from the window of Room 9 (Floor 1), which faces the weather.