How a miss is measured.

Three instruments: the second hand, the sigh scale, and the glance back. All three must agree before a miss is filed.

IIIInstruments

VSighs, graded

IIIClosest calls

Instruments

The second hand. All margins are timed twice, once by the misser and once by the Measurer, whose watch is checked against the pips. Disagreements under half a second are resolved in favour of the smaller margin, which is kinder to the miss.

The glance-back rule. A miss unwitnessed by a glance back over the shoulder is filed as an arrival manqué, a lesser category. The glance must be rueful; ruefulness is assessed by the Measurer and is rarely in doubt.

The sigh scale

Sigh I · Exhalation: Noted. Filed without ceremony.
Sigh II · Audible: Heard by the Measurer. Margin confirmed.
Sigh III · Sustained: Three seconds or more. Upgrades the miss one rank.
Sigh IV · With headshake: Rare. Photographed in words.
Sigh V · With sit-down: The misser sits where they stand. Recorded; tea offered.

The three closest calls

Closest I

The Reply-All 1 click

The mouse was moving to Send. The horror arrived first. The sender sat quietly until lunch and has typed carefully since.

Record. Mouse kept as warning. Sigh V recorded.

Closest II

The Coat-Tail A coat-tail

The lift doors met on a coat-tail and thought better of it. The only miss on record to reverse itself mid-margin.

Record. Filed under mercies, a sub-register of one.

Closest III

The Single Vote 1 vote

Reached the count as it closed. Human, therefore ineligible; moved, therefore minuted.

Record. See Tale 02, which did not happen, and Miss 06, which did.